Matt Asks Me Weird Things

You know what’s a really incredible thing? Loving and living with your absolute best friend in the world.

After 5 and a half years – or, almost 2000 days (I don’t know why I Googled that) – being asked weird questions by my better half, Matthew, has become the norm. We have the strangest conversations, like everyone else, but Matt in particular comes up with the most ridiculous things. Tonight, I was thinking about this one particular memory, and I suddenly remembered that I noted down a few of the weird questions he asked me, just for, I don’t know, future notice, I guess.  We went on a summer hike in the middle of nowhere, and periodically throughout the walk, he’d turn to me and ask a question. As if the beautiful walk, rolling hills, and blazing sunshine wasn’t enough, this made for a super special memory.

For all you lucky people that do live with your best friend, especially if that best friend of yours is a massive, random weirdo, you’re probably gonna relate with me a little here! If not, admire a few of the weird and wonderful things that Matthew thought to ask me throughout the duration of one hour.

Green Landscape Trees

If you had a horse, what would you name him?

Frasier, Dougie, Ezekiel, Felix. I think I love Ezekiel the most, but I can imagine my fictional, beautiful, shiny stallion with all of the above names.

What mythical animal would you most love to find in the wild?

To clarify, he also meant “to find and have as a per”. This was easy for me. I’d want to find a domesticated unicorn or Pegasus or Rapidash (do Pokémon count?). As you probably already guessed, I’m pretty obsessed with horses – but, alas, I do not own a horse. I did also consider a Phoenix because 1) it’s beautiful, 2) you won’t be sad when it dies, because it will come back to life 3) they have the ability to heal with their tears.

Would you chop off your own arm if you could replace it with a mechanical one?

Basically, no. We debated this one for a while because, yes, the mechanical arm has countless advantages but I can’t imagine any of those advantages outweighing the unimaginable pain of having to cut your own arm off. I also like the idea of, at least for now, being completely human. If you were offering a deal more like “would you chop of your pinkie to become a bionic human, or human 2.0, with massively improved cognitive functions?” then I might say yes.

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What do you think?

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You can read my previous post here.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

Before writing up my 101 Thing in 1001 Days challenge, I didn’t know this list of questions existed. Apparently, they’re quite often found on people’s bucket lists. When I found them, I knew I’d love to complete the challenge one day. Today is that day.

Unlike a lot of question posts, these aren’t digging for your average “about me” answers. They make you think. They make you question things – your future, your past, your happiness. They’re also a lot of fun to answer, which is why I want to complete them.

When I was young and the internet was terribly boring, I used to find giant lists of questions to answer and store them in public memos for my Myspace friends to read. Ah, nostalgia. I’d love to say people didn’t care and people didn’t read them, but they all did… We were all just as sad as each other. Humans are nosey!

Don’t worry, I’m not having some sort of quarter-life crisis. I just thought you’d be interested to see how I answered them! You might also be inspired to take on the challenge yourself.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

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1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Either 6 years old or 40 years old, depending on what mood I’m in. If I could actually choose though, I’d be 18. That was probably one of the best years of my life.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

For me, failing. I hate failing. I’d rather never try anything new again than fail.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

We have to do the things we don’t like because society tells us that straying from the norm is a bad thing. Thankfully, this way of thinking seems like it’s finally starting to fade away.

Life’s too short to miss out on the things that make you happy!

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Probably, but that’s because I have so many ideas and so many plans that it would be practically impossible for me to do it all. There’s not enough time.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

This is a tough one! I’m conflicted between choosing war, poverty and hunger or equality. I think I’d most like to bring equality to the world. Surely, if skin colour, gender and religion didn’t divide people, the world would be a far more peaceful place.

Also, stop killing the planet, you monsters!

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Anything creative. Wow, I’d be absolutely loaded.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Right now, I’m settling. That’s not permanent though. After university, I’m hoping I’ll be brave enough to do exactly what I believe in.

Related: If I Could Do Anything…

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I doubt I would have spent 22 years of my life with one simple goal of ‘get an education’. I love education, really, and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come but 22 years would be over 50% of my life!

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Erm, I’d say quite a lot. I don’t really take any shit from anyone. Recently, I’m following a path that I don’t necessarily want to be on, but it’s for the greater good. I know it will benefit my future. Although I dislike the path, I still made the concious decision to stay on it.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Honestly, doing things right. I don’t think I have a problem with worrying about doing the right thing. I’m sure that just comes naturally to me.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I wouldn’t stand for that. That’s not fair.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Be kind.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Of course. Without a second thought.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Definitely, when I was younger and I didn’t know any better.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

The way I navigate socialising (or the lack of it) is quite different.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

This is something I struggle with in real life. Because me and Matt are so similar, when I’m with other people, it baffles me how the things I like are so unappealing to them. It’s weird. That’s humanity for you, though.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

I want to open an animal sanctuary. Money is holding me back.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Definitely not. My future seems bright, no need to look back.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Canada. Everything about Canada is welcoming. It has good health care, fantastic job prospects, an awesome Prime Minister and high social equality.

I’d also consider moving to Croatia, because… have you seen it?

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Nope and nope. Patience, friends.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I worry anyway, so I may as well be a worried genius.

22. Why are you, you?

Because, kids, when mummies and daddies love each other very much, they do a special dance…

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Oh, definitely. I’d love to have me as a friend. I’m ridiculously empathetic, I’m a great listener and I’d take all your Instagram photographs for you, because what else are friends for?

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Losing touch with a good friend who lives close by. That’s a choice. That’s rejection!

25. What are you most grateful for?

This is a bit difficult. Obviously, I’m grateful for my health and my home. I’m also insanely grateful for Matthew who’s made me happier than I’ve ever been before, my gorgeous kitties who fill such a void in my heart and my family who still love me even after I moved away from home.

Pink Hearts

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

My entire life revolves around memory. I photograph everything and keep thousands of mementos simply because I’m terrified about losing my memory. So, this is hard.

Initially, I was going to say I’d rather never make new memories, because letting go of my old, precious ones would be way too difficult. What if I gave up my old memories and then wound up in an accident and died? But, then again, I have a future. I’m getting married soon, I have a full life ahead of me. I can’t imagine not being able to remember it all.

I think I’d rather lose all of my old memories, but I’d be forever heartbroken about it. I’ve had some incredible moments throughout my short life so far.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Yeah, without a doubt. “Is that a window? Yes.”

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

My greatest fear is dying so… no. All of my other fears sprout from this main bad boy, and some of those have already come true.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Yes, and it will always matter. My heart still hurts to think about some of those things.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

Oh, this is a good one! I have so many wonderful childhood memories. I can’t particularly pin-point a specific memory though. All the times we went camping, pinching my dad’s style of music, all the hilarious car journeys, jiving with my mum, making silly videos with my brother… the list is endless.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

In one year, me and Matt made the decision to move into our first home together, got accepted into university, got our first jobs, saved up lots of money for a deposit, found a gorgeous city centre flat, moved into our flat and then proceeded to have the best few months before starting our first year of university.

That was amazing.

32. If not now, then when?

On Monday. It’s always Monday.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

You could fail.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

I don’t walk up to people, stare at them and walk away, no. This sounds like it should be one of those romantic questions, but I don’t think it works. It’s just weird.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Crazy people take things to the extreme. They take their religion, twist it, and make it fit whatever messed up ideal they’re trying to share.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

No.

37. If you just won a million pounds, would you quit your job?

I’d continue until September to finish my internship, but I wouldn’t then quit my final year of university. However, I wouldn’t find a job after graduation. I could do so much good with a million pounds…

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

This question depends on how much work you already do. I’d rather do lots of enjoyable work – like, dream job material. If it wasn’t dream job stuff, then give me less work and I’ll be fine.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

No, actually. I don’t feel like that at all.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Hmm, I have a new idea every week. If anything, this is one of my downfalls.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Mum, dad and my brother, Jared.

Does Matt die in this scenario too? So, I lose all my family and the love of my life? I’d just rather die too, to be honest.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

No! Life is already too short.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Alive is coping. Work, pay bills, sleep. Living is doing what makes you happy.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

When you have nothing left to lose. Until then, I’ll probably always calculate risks and rewards.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

I think it’s drilled into our heads from a young age that making mistakes is bad, so once we eventually understand that people can learn from their mistakes, it’s already too late.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Wow, so much.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

When I read this question, and involuntarily took a big, deep breath.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love so much. I love too much and too hard. I think this blog post is full of lots of love, and so much honesty! Before then, I had a giant cuddle with Harley (one of my kitties).

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Not off the top of my head, no. I could always check my blog to see what I posted that day, or me and Matt could nosey through his “line a day for 5 years” dairy. I’d manage to remember if I tried hard enough!

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I’m making them for myself. For sure.

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Well, I enjoyed that! I hope you did too. If you feel like answering these questions, tag me or link me your blog posts – I’d love to see how you got on.

I actually feel really calm right now. I feel as if I just contemplated my whole past, future and now, coming out the other side a little more stable and a little more prepared.

What do you think?

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You can read my previous post here.

-Morgan

Photographs are my own. © Morgan Mills

A Funny Little Dream

I woke myself and Matthew up in absolute hysterics this morning. Without a doubt, that is the best way to wake up. I had to share this with you today, because I can’t stop thinking about it… Honestly, I still think it’s funny.

Lovely dreams are so rare for me! I always have nightmares, so when I don’t dream about something frightening they’re properly prominent in my memory! This morning’s dream, though, was just insane. Dreams are always fun to share too!

Pigeon Dream

Hint, hint – it’s about pigeons!

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It was 7:30am and, initially, I was absolutely adamant that Matthew had woken me up to tell me this little story that sent me in an uncontrollable laughing fit. It turns out that Stephen Mulhern, our much loved British presenter, magician and Britain’s Got More Talent host, had told me this anecdote and with it being a dream… I actually became Stephen Mulhern.

After a very dramatic partial nightmare (something about cows, that’s all I remember), I met up with Stephen and he told me a little story about his trip to the park or his trip somewhere touristy… something like that. That – obviously – isn’t the part that made me laugh uncontrollably.

He said that a Chinese couple, who were both super friendly, smiley and normal looking by the way, asked him to take a photograph of them with the pigeons. Pretty normal so far, right? It turns out, they handed him a shotgun. Apparently there’s a camera or something attached to this gun that captures the moment of the poor animals demise. Brutal, sadistic and completely not something I agree with – dudes, I’m a vegetarian who’s completely opposed to hunting.

Anyway, what’s worse is that the couple of Chinese tourists wanted him to actually shoot towards them and the pigeons, in hope of killing a few of the birds whilst taking the photograph. Basically, they wanted a *lovely* photograph of them stood between a mass of pigeons flying for their lives – some of which would probably be killed by the gun! Oh my! At this point, I (also who was Stephen Mulhern at this point) was freaking out.

Stephen was too shy to say no, so he tried to shoot in the direction of the pigeons. None of them bat an eyelid. They didn’t care. They knew he’d miss. He started to go mad and full on shot two pigeons directly in the head. He missed. He tried again. He missed. His face was so full of… I can’t even properly explain the face he was making, it was hilarious… it was full of frustration, determination and embarrassment. He tried again and finally, with feathers and shrieks of shock from every angle, he killed a pigeon. The Chinese tourists were absolutely mortified in the end.

At that point, Stephen’s descent into madness woke me up. In absolute fits of laughter. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard – apart from every hour or so since, when remembering the dream. For some reason, it tickled me so bloody hard and I can’t shake it.

It was the most random dream I’ve ever had. Pigeons are one of my favourite animals, I haven’t seen Stephen Mulhern since last Saturday and I don’t know where the Chinese tourists came from! However, I’m sure the shotgun fiasco was 100% related to my recent obsession with Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 on the Xbox One. Definitely.

Generally, my dreams consist of the same three reoccurring nightmares. That’s it! To have a weird, funny and non-scary dream was lovely but to actually wake up laughing, well… that’s just the best.

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Can you remember the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

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You can read my previous post here.

-Morgan

Moody Monday

Happy Moody Monday, lovely reader.

Today marks my first day back to work after the super exhausting, not at all relaxing festivities. I’m going to be honest, I’m not looking forward to it at all.

Typically, my morning starts at 6am. I get up, get ready, cook lunch, drink a cup of tea (that I can’t start my day without) and leave. In the background, Matt holds me together. I despise mornings, and I’m a very lucky duck for having such a caring best friend and better half to help me.

Because we don’t drive, we’re full on “bus wankers” and it’s crap during the winter. Walking to the station in the wind, rain and cold is bad enough without then having to sit near strangers. 

Ignoring the monotony of our mornings, I have bigger issues today. Before breaking off work for Christmas, I had a rough couple of weeks. I was constantly sad, really sad. I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t concentrate.  I was uneasy.

I guess I’m feeling so negative towards going back to work because this is all I can remember – it’s hard to think about all the enjoyable moments I’ve had in that environment, when the bad bits are unforgettable. It feels like that big, dark cloud is going to just come and swallow me again, as soon as I get back into that environment.

My point: I don’t want it to. I wanted 2016 to be a year of saying “no” when I’m overworked, scared, uncomfortable, cold, stressed etc… but I guess in reality, that’s just not realistic.

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Anyway, now that’s out of my system…
Here’s hoping that today is a good day!

-Morgan

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Friday Night, Every Night

Me and Matt are terrible sleepers.

I have always been a thinker, a worrier and a bit of a stress-head so sleep never found me easily. Matt, on the other hand, is a volcano, erupting heat onto himself, the covers and me which you can imagine doesn’t help the situation at all. Recently though, now we’re on holiday from university, it became ridiculous. It’s no longer a matter of ‘we can’t sleep’, it’s simply ‘we don’t want to, we don’t need to, so let’s not.’

Sleeping pattern? Routine? What are those words? Who knows. Last night, we went to bed at 6am, and woke up at 2pm. Our body clocks have temporarily broken. It’s altering our perception of days and nights, our food, our schedules and probably our health too. The ultimate night-owls.

We figured out our problem though. Sleeping is a waste of time, so we put it off for as long as possible. We enjoy each other too much, and love being in the other’s company. We enjoy our hobbies and our home and our cats and never want to leave. Our brains are busy and we’re happy. We’re making the most of our last stress-free weeks in the foreseeable future before it all gets too serious.

In 2 weeks, real life kick-starts once more. This isn’t long term. We’re both looking forward to getting back into the world of normality and routine, yes, but for now let’s make the most of everything we can!

Sleep is rubbish.


🙂

-Morgan