I woke myself and Matthew up in absolute hysterics this morning. Without a doubt, that is the best way to wake up. I had to share this with you today, because I can’t stop thinking about it… Honestly, I still think it’s funny.
Lovely dreams are so rare for me! I always have nightmares, so when I don’t dream about something frightening they’re properly prominent in my memory! This morning’s dream, though, was just insane. Dreams are always fun to share too!
Hint, hint – it’s about pigeons!
It was 7:30am and, initially, I was absolutely adamant that Matthew had woken me up to tell me this little story that sent me in an uncontrollable laughing fit. It turns out that Stephen Mulhern, our much loved British presenter, magician and Britain’s Got More Talent host, had told me this anecdote and with it being a dream… I actually became Stephen Mulhern.
After a very dramatic partial nightmare (something about cows, that’s all I remember), I met up with Stephen and he told me a little story about his trip to the park or his trip somewhere touristy… something like that. That – obviously – isn’t the part that made me laugh uncontrollably.
He said that a Chinese couple, who were both super friendly, smiley and normal looking by the way, asked him to take a photograph of them with the pigeons. Pretty normal so far, right? It turns out, they handed him a shotgun. Apparently there’s a camera or something attached to this gun that captures the moment of the poor animals demise. Brutal, sadistic and completely not something I agree with – dudes, I’m a vegetarian who’s completely opposed to hunting.
Anyway, what’s worse is that the couple of Chinese tourists wanted him to actually shoot towards them and the pigeons, in hope of killing a few of the birds whilst taking the photograph. Basically, they wanted a *lovely* photograph of them stood between a mass of pigeons flying for their lives – some of which would probably be killed by the gun! Oh my! At this point, I (also who was Stephen Mulhern at this point) was freaking out.
Stephen was too shy to say no, so he tried to shoot in the direction of the pigeons. None of them bat an eyelid. They didn’t care. They knew he’d miss. He started to go mad and full on shot two pigeons directly in the head. He missed. He tried again. He missed. His face was so full of… I can’t even properly explain the face he was making, it was hilarious… it was full of frustration, determination and embarrassment. He tried again and finally, with feathers and shrieks of shock from every angle, he killed a pigeon. The Chinese tourists were absolutely mortified in the end.
At that point, Stephen’s descent into madness woke me up. In absolute fits of laughter. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard – apart from every hour or so since, when remembering the dream. For some reason, it tickled me so bloody hard and I can’t shake it.
It was the most random dream I’ve ever had. Pigeons are one of my favourite animals, I haven’t seen Stephen Mulhern since last Saturday and I don’t know where the Chinese tourists came from! However, I’m sure the shotgun fiasco was 100% related to my recent obsession with Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 on the Xbox One. Definitely.
Generally, my dreams consist of the same three reoccurring nightmares. That’s it! To have a weird, funny and non-scary dream was lovely but to actually wake up laughing, well… that’s just the best.
Can you remember the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
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You can read my previous post here.